My path to becoming a “peaceful warrior”. How my father and I got saved.

Something in my heart told me to write this testimony to share with you all. It is my life experience. I have been through so much. May this touch all of your hearts and inspire many of you to stay strong and to always lean on God no matter the situations and circumstances may be. Know that “All things work for good to those who love God”. Now let’s say “Amen” together.

So who was I? What did I actually do? Where could I turn to? Dear Lord, I come to you with my willing heart. “Please, hear, enter and change my heart and my mind. I cry out for your name”. Now I begin my incredible life changing story.

I was like just any other ordinary teenage girl out there, but I was lost. Winnie is my name. Who was God? I never knew. I was the type of girl who ran away from all the church people who constantly came every week knocking on my door. They wanted to teach me God’s Word. I ran away just like I did with my life as time went by. I never accepted correction or mistakes. I was ignorant, spoiled, confused, and lonely. But I had a special heart. It was good, but needed time to shape up. I am Chinese born and raised in Vancouver, BC. Canada. My family was very strict ever since I was a kid. They raised me with their high Asian cultural influenced upbringing. They were born and came from a time when President Mao ruled China for 2 decades. He was a horrible man because he killed people who believed in God. There were no rights back then. My parents wanted a new life just like any other Chinese Immigrant seeking desperately for a good future. When the right time came, they immigrated to Canada, legally got married and had me and my brother.

My parents always wanted me to live up their standard becoming what they wanted me to become, a lawyer, or doctor. As I grew up through the years. I realized I never had interest in such professions. All I wanted was to be me and do my own thing. What were my true talents/gifts? I had no idea.

During my high school years, I had a rough time concentrating at school courses, except for Physical Education. (That was one talent I had but didn’t pursue or even think of it.) After year by year, my grades seemed to get worse. Then I found out one day. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety, panic and obsessive compulsive disorder (very rare for my age at that time). When I was in Grade 12 my school principle decided to have a meeting with my parents and school nurse that I should take a break from school to take care of my mental health issues and have somewhat therapy. I was obviously unstable at that time. The first few months, I went from doctor to doctor, then finally a specialist. He then saw me and tried to treat me at the University of British Columbia Detwiller Pavilion Mood Disorder Clinic. During such crucial time, I wanted to have fun in life. I liked music a lot. I listened to it quite often because it would take me to another phase with no problem. I felt good so I started to go to clubs underaged with a fake ID. I always got in and never had any problems. My personality was very different that it attracted a lot of people, so meeting people was not a problem for me, and plus most of the time, we were in the dark. After a few months, I eventually got sick of the scene and knew enough people to be well connected in the night life. I had VIP guest list at age 17.

I moved on to “Raves” which was a dance party that lasted from dawn to daylight. No alcohol except for a commonly used drug called “Ecstasy”. It was a pill and used for dancing at such parties. The people were friendly in this kind of atmosphere. The surrounding of it all, everybody was high off the pills. I then caught myself in a crowd who I thought were good people but not. They influenced me tremendously. Later on I became an addict of it using it once a week. Then I met many people supplying and selling it. They were drug leaders. I was tempted and began to make money that way. I wanted to be independent and have everything I needed. So pill by pill, I started off selling, then hundreds to thousands. I made a lot of money and was rich and didn’t need any of my family’s money. During that time, they had no clue to what I was doing, but one thing for sure was they were really supportive over me no matter how things were and turned out to be. I was very materialistic and superficial. The fleshly world took over me alright. The fast earning way of life was what I wanted. I never wanted to work a real job and my parents were wondering where I got the money from. I lied to them and told them I was doing all the promotion and ticketing for events. When they found out I came home late at night and sometimes the next morning, they yelled and was very angry with me. I got hit several times. This went on for about a year, but I still did what I did and they had no control over me whatsoever but they never stopped caring and worrying. I was a rebel. Sooner or later, I moved on again. This time, I moved out of the country to a different State called Seattle, Washington.

The scene there was great, so I began to sell, sell and sell. I then really was living the high life like a Mafia Leader did. I stayed at expensive 4 star hotels such as Four Season, Farmont. Shopped and only wore expensive clothing and jewelry from Barneys New York, Louis Vuitton, Tiffany and Company, Prada, Burberrys you name it. I ate at expensive restaurants where my bills came up to anywhere from $300 -$1,000 and tipped the waiters/waitresses $100 -$200. I felt like the Queen of the World for 2 years. I was then 19 years old. A typical 19 year old at home would be studying and doing their homework. While I also travelled around the world, I went to California, Atlanta, Portland, Chicago, Hong Kong, Toronto, Miami, etc. Globally shopping for expensive things, and staying at luxury hotels from Beverley Hills to Bel Harbour. Time came, although good things in such an illegal way like this never lasted. For about a year I would say DEA was investigating me. I had no idea until one day, I was set up by a guy who I was dealing with and things started crashing down. I got arrested, sentenced and finally threw me from my holding area in SeaTac to FCI prison in Dublin California.

Eight years was the time they gave me. I thought my life just ended with a blink of an eye. The feeling of being locked up behind bars for such a long time killed me at being 19. The judge didn’t even have mercy on me. During the time of my incarceration, I finally began to look at my life that a sense of awareness and self realization come along. In prison, I began to see many other inmates turn themselves into the Lord wanting and desperately seeking to change. It was either prison or death. At first, I believed God because I wanted him to get me out of prison. Oh no, it didn’t happen this time. I then began to give in and found out the truth of God and truth of life. It was a wonderful feeling. Christian people started coming my way. They prayed for me and we prayed with each other. Just the peace I found after praying gave me a sense of joy and peace. When I was out there, I never prayed or knew how to pray or especially went to church. I began to say these words “Lord I don’t know how to pray but if I speak words that are coming from my heart, please hear, answer and comfort me. I feel so lonely. I have failed. I missed my family dearly. What did I do oh Lord. What did I do?” It took me to prison to finally learn. After the power of prayer, He began to heal me in time. He then guided and leaded me on the right path. When I got to prison, I looked so innocent and vulnerable, naïve was the word. I looked far from a criminal or a convict, but who was I or them to judge me, right? "Judge ye not and ye shall not be judge” I was beginning to manifest and turn into a God's child. So He took care of me. He clothes the naked, feeds the poor, and provides the homeless with shelter and that’s what He exactly did to me. I used my time wisely for I picked wisdom over silver and rubies now. I went to church every Sunday, including attending special services, Bible Studies and prayer meetings. I began to change people's lives and started to be an inspiration to them. The power and strength the Lord gave me was so amazing – I never gave up, for He gave me strength to endure without giving up. I went to school; took my GED test and pass it. My life was transforming more and more. I wanted to also be active so I started exercising. Being in prison, I found out I was very athletic. I could run miles, lift weights, meditate, do the most challenging yoga poses as well as practice Chinese healing exercises like Tai Chi, Chi Kung, and Qi Gong. This was my gift from the Lord. I finally put the pieces of the puzzle together and wonder why I did well in physical education back in high school. I loved Physical Fitness and Wellness. Remember we must take care of ourselves, for our body is the temple of Christ. When you come to prison the saying was “You came here by yourself, and you leaving here by yourself” In this place, it's hard to have and find good people to get along with, but there was one who came into my life. Her name was Maggie C, and she was my Christian sister. Ever since the first day we met, she started observing me before and how I did my time and the change I had. She admired me a lot and started to stick by my side, and watched over me. She was like an Angel to me. She said I was a bright kid who had high potential that I needed to just keep learning and praying to God to lead me and He did. I found my North Star. One day something in my heart told Maggie to write a letter to my Dad telling him how much I've changed and he’d be so proud of me. I was Daddy’s girl. He wrote back and thanked her. He said in the letter the three most important things that touched one hearts and impacted it so much that you will understand why this is such a testimony for me to share with all of you.

1. “I finally believed my daughter now”.

2. “I have left everything go now, so much pain, anger, and sadness is now gone.”

3. “I am free, oh God, save me, oh God.”

My father was a very private and sentimental man. He suffered a lot and even more because of what I did. He was not a believer of God, or even wanted to come to know him. I thought I could never get him to believe. He was that type of man. My mother and I were not very close. We used to argue all the time. Now I understand what happened and why he wrote that letter. The puzzle will come together, later you will find out when there were times I’d mention about God on the phone. My dad would be like yes, there I was like “wow” there is some progress going there. Gosh did I pray for him so much. He was such a good hard working father, I loved him to death. I was looking forward to see him. A few months later after he wrote that letter, he caught ammonia, and I could not get a hold of him for two months. Deep down inside, things didn’t feel right. I called my Aunt who my Dad was close to, and trust the most, and she’d tell me how dad was doing and that he’d be okay and not to worry. But I still could not sleep at night. I felt anxious and restless. I then began to find out what conscience was and began to follow my heart. One day, I finally got a hold of him. He picked up and was coughing so hard. My heart was torn. I cried really bad. He couldn’t talk to me on that phone, he hung up on me. Another month passed by when I was working at the laundry department, my boss received a phone call and sent me back and told me to go back to the unit immediately and see my counselor in the unit. I had no clue what was going on. God know if it was an emergency Illness/incident that happened to one of my family members. I would die and go crazy. So I found out a couple minutes later the bad news was my dad was dying with Liver Cancer and was at his deathbed. I trembled and fell to the ground. Then cried out for God’s name asking him “God, why?” My family called my counselor from the hospital. They were in tears, sobbing painfully, the unbearable pain all of them was going through. My aunt felt so bad because they could not tell me instead they were the ones that told me he had Ammonia. He didn’t. He was coughing out blood. Even though I didn’t hate or was angry with them, but I hated the world for a second. I absolutely did not know what to do. I tried to get approval for a deathbed visit but got denial, because it was in different country. They would loose jurisdiction over me. I then began to feel hopeless. Crying in despair but then this extra strength came into me. When they passed the phone to my father, my counselor was working on something in his computer and right in front of him, he had this scripture in a Christian book. It said if you wanted to accept Jesus Christ as your savior, and if you wanted to be forgiven for your sins, He immediately passed the book to me, and I read it to my father quickly. When I read it to him, he couldn’t even speak but when he heard my voice and said yes, it lifted him. He hung on just to hear my voice and then he let go. He died at 4:45am next morning, He is in Heaven now, and is saved. God had this all planned out. He loved my father so much that he saved him in such a painful way. That letter he wrote he asked God to save him and He did. After I found out my counselor was a devoted Christian man, we develop a strong relationship, together. He is now my brother, friend, father and is everything to me. For that day, he became a big part of my life. God bless him, I will never forget him. He said that was the highlight of his career.

Five years has passed and I started to apply for treaty transfer the second time to go back to Canada, and do my time over there, and get my sentence reduced tremendously to only 1 more month and I will be home. Let me tell you, this was a battle. To get approved was very hard. Do mind you, I got denied the first time I applied before my 5 years, still I didn not lose hope. The fourth year, I reapplied and I finally got it but that was after when I got denied by my own country side for the most ridiculous reason. I hired a lawyer, and he fought for me and got it turned around. See I was a fighter and I never gave up. I did my very best so God did the rest. My story even went out to the media. It was headlined story on front page of Canadian newspaper. Also when I first got arrested, my case made it to the front page of the Seattle Times Newspaper as well. That time, I got denied I asked God Why? Then I know there was something to it. It was because I was not ready yet. He wanted to test me to see if I would still lean and be attached to him once he let me go. But even thought I still had faith. After he granted me it, freedom at last was calling my name. Oh Lord, I will always hang on to you, serve you, praise you, and acknowledge you in everything that I do. I give you all the Glory. You have saved my life and my father’s. Now I will saved my family and take them to Church. What was once lost is now found. I believe in myself in whatever I plan on achieving in life for “We can do all things through Christ who strengthen me” I am on my way home now, and I am now 24 years old. Without me accepting the Lord as my Savior and my willingness to change, I could have been dead, gay, lost, drug addict etc and ruin my life. Now I am still young and have my whole future ahead of me. This is my story. God is good, isn’t he?

Dad, this one’s for you!!!